The top Life Coaches and personal development gurus do this…


I’ve been loving that Super Soul with Oprah is now a Podcast! Listening to the best in the business share their experiences and wisdom while going about my day is one of my favourite things to do. 

Listening to Tony Robbins, Life Coach extraordinare, and Iyanla Vanzant, creator of The TV show Fix My Life and incredible speaker, they both focused on the same practice at the core of spiritual growth and living in alignment with your true purpose…connecting with your heart (your intuition, God, the universe). One of my mentors, Sonia Tully, has taught me a very similar practice that I use all the time to get guidance and I love it because it’s quick, easy and so clear. 

Tony describes choosing something in your life that you’re struggling with at a level of 7 out of 10. Closing your eyes and putting your hand on your heart and bringing to mind 3 separate experiences you are grateful for e.g. The birth of your child, achieving a goal or a special time with friends. Then once you’ve got yourself into the state (vibration) of gratitude you ask your heart what to do about the problem you are facing and listen for the guidance. 

Iyanla talks about being in the God space in prayer, feeling completely connected and at one with creation. She emphasises that your intuition is key to the choices you make and is how we receive guidance from God. Oprah says if you’re out of alignment with your higher purpose God hits you first with a pebble, then if you don’t listen the rock gets bigger and bigger until it’s a boulder. This is a metaphor for the intuitive nudges we get that we ignore, for example if you bring on a new business partner you may have some misgivings but ignore them. Then a few things start to go wrong in your business, but you soldier on. Eventually the business may fail and you go bankrupt (the boulder!). This is not a punishment from God or the universe, it’s purely because that situation or relationship, in the form it’s in, it’s untenable for you and out of alignment with your deepest desires. So eventually it has to break down completely if you don’t listen and act on the red flags. 

Sonia, my mentor, teaches a beautiful tool called ‘My heads says….and my heart says….’ Choose something your worried about or struggling with, then speak out loud ‘my head says….’ and say all the thoughts and stuff your head is saying to you e.g. I’m not sure I can do this, am I good enough? What will they say? Etc. Then take a deep breath, put your hand on your heart and tune in – then say ‘my heart says…’ and allow the words to come naturally. Can you feel the difference in energy of your head and your heart? What do they both feel like? 

I love that there is so much emphasis on how essential it is to connect to your heart and your intuition. That is the space we create from and heal in. 

Sending love ❤️ 

Image credit: upliftconnect.com 

How do you connect to your intuition? 

My first experience of actively connecting with my intuition was using a very practical tool – oracle cards. I started using Angel oracle cards created by Doreen Virtue; there are so many different card decks out there for you to choose from. I loved this tool because I could hold the cards in my hands, there was a guidebook with instructions & explanations. It was practical rather than conceptual. I would pull cards to answer all kind of questions and use the guidebook, in conjunction with my intuition, to interpret the message. There are even apps you can download onto your phone now.  

How you start to interpret messages is by reading words on the cards, looking up each card in the guideboook and asking yourself what the images mean to you. Bring your awareness to your thoughts, feelings, ideas and visualisations to piece together the guidance that comes through. There is lots to learn about card readings, I completed an Angel Tarot Card Reader training which was fab, but you certainly don’t need to have heaps of training to use this tool to connect to your intuition.

At first it can feel very uncomfortable trying to figure out ‘what’s my intuition & what’s my mind or my imagination’? Which is why it’s recommended to start by asking questions or seeking guidance on subjects that not too heavily emotionally laden. For example – what do you suggest I focus on today? Rather than will my current relationship last? 

The gut feeling. We’ve all used the phrase – I have a gut feeling about this; meaning I have a feeling in my body, specifically in the tummy area, that is giving me information on this subject that I can’t verify externally. This is most often your intuition. I like to use my ‘gut feeling’ to help me with a yes or no answer. I pose my yes or no question and bring my attention to the sensation to my tummy. For me a yes feels like a lifting and lightening of the energy around my middle, whereas a no is more of a sinking, lowering feeling in my tummy. Test it out with questions you know the answer to and see what a yes and no feels like to you in your body. For example my name is….say the wrong name to get a no & the right name to get a yes. 

Another tool I use almost everyday is a little more subtle and may take a bit more practice, so don’t feel disheartened if it doesn’t feel clear straight away. Before I go sleep at night, when I’m in bed with my eyes closed, I thank my intellect for all the hard work it’s done during the day and suggest it has a break. I feel like my prefrontal cortex (the front part of my brain) is almost moving back a little into my skull – I’m sure it isn’t, it’s more my visualisation. Giving my intellect the back seat allows space for my higher self, my intuition, my angels and guides to come in. If you’re not comfortable with the words angels or guides just think of it as your inner guidance system. 

You might feel a shift in energy, more subtle and peaceful, like a safe space. From here I communicate with my thoughts and ‘listen’ for answers. There are a number of different ways we can perceive intuitive guidance; clairaudience is the ‘hearing’ of guidance. This usually doesn’t mean an external sound, like the sound of others talking, but rather an internal perception of words. It is similar to thoughts but it has a very different quality to it. I find thoughts usually have lots and lots of words, they run quite fast and feel almost energetically jaggedy. Whereas my intuitive guidance has few words, is very clear and comes in quickly and has an energetic quality like clear glass. So if thoughts feel like the opaque glass you have in bathrooms, guidance feels like completely clear glass. I know that sounds pretty abstract! Give it a try and see how it feels to you, remembering not to put too much pressure on yourself and start with simple, unemotional requests. 

Let me know how you get on! 😘

People pleasing leading to disease…and how to heal from it

In this video I explain what people pleasing is (I should know, I’m an expert!) and how it can lead to autoimmune disease – as it did for me. I learned how to set boundaries in order to take care of myself and heal myself from the disease to please. Thank goodness!!

Country music and Bhakti yoga 


I went to a wonderful concert recently, performed by the cast of the Nashville TV series. It was at the beautiful setting of the Royal Albert Hall in London. And I cried the whole way through! 

Country music is, I find, especially emotional and passionate. The performers were incredible, loving and heartfelt. They connected with my heart and literally broke it open with their words and intention. Once the tears started to flow there was no stopping them. I realised it wasn’t just the music that was making me cry, it was the catalyst for me to release my emotions. 

It reminded me very much of my stay in India where I lived in an ashram and joined in with a 7 day Bhakti yoga celebration; Bhakti yoga is the practice of chanting as a way of connecting to the divine. We were in Vrindavan, which is the birthplace of the Hindu God Krishna, Krishna is the lover God! He had many women, gopis, who were in love with him and folllowed him around. So for days we listened to stories and chanted together culminating in the final day when an ecstatic, love fest, dance party broke out! The high vibration energy and the love between us all was palpable – we were connected to each other and to the divine and it was an incredible dance and flow of beauty and love – as you can see in the photo. 

Listening to the Nashville concert had a similar effect of joining everyone in the room by the heart. I realised, as the tears were running down my face, that I’ve kept my heart on lock down for a long time now. My heart was badly broken and with the best intentions of protecting it I unconsciously put it carefully in a safe place, on lock down. As the music played and my emotions flooded to the surface I could feel my heart cracking open and allowing in the love and the pain. It felt good and scary and exhausting, a huge relief. 

It felt so much better to experience the emotions, not that it was comfortable, than to shut them down. Feeling is being alive. My whole body shifted, my shoulders relaxed and I could move more freely. The audience stood up and danced for the last few songs, it’s no accident that music and dancing are intrinsically connected. When the emotion is coming up moving your body helps it move through you and out, hence ‘e-motion’. Dancing is an awesome way to do this, moving your hips and shoulders, often the places in the body emotion and tension gets stuck. One of my yoga teachers told me that if I’m feeling uninspired with my home practice, to turn on some tunes and just move my body in any way that feels good – I do this all the time and I love it! Try it… 😘

Phoenix rising from the ashes – so where the f**k is my Phoenix? 

Have you been through a life stopping, world changing experience and have been told and read that after the flames have swallowed you up you’ll rise stronger & better than ever before – but in reality you still feel shitty, are waiting for the Phoenix and it’s no where to be seen? 

I’m totally with you. This is where I am right now. After a marriage ending, swiftly followed by an autoimmune illness, life felt like it stopped and I was in pieces. So now I’m moving to the other side of getting back to life and myself and I’m waiting for the beautiful Phoenix to rise from my ashes and if anything I feel more anxious and vulnerable than I before this all happened. WTF?! 

It’s so easy to worry that I’ll never be as strong and feel as capable as I was before. Will I reach my potential? Do I have what it takes to make my dreams come true? Right now these questions feel very real and raw and terrifying. What if every time something terrible happens (as it inevitably will in life) I just get weaker? What if I’m not one of those people who comes back stronger? What if I have no Phoenix? Thinking like this makes the future feel very hard and overwhelming. 

I’m choosing to believe that it takes time. That I do have what it takes, we all do, and to build back up takes time and patience and faith. And a lot of love – from others but mainly for myself. I’m finding that doing things I love and that feel like part of my life purpose helps so much. For me that’s yoga, creativity, healthy living and spending time with soulful people. 

Maybe the Phoenix starts out as a little baby bird in the ashes, which are still hot from the fire. Maybe our job is to treat ourselves like that baby bird, keep it safe, healthy and loved while it grows getting bigger and stronger. And one day you spread your wings, feeling powerful and magical, to rise up from your ashes into the beautiful, limitless sky. 

This is my hope for you and for me. We can love our way through. We can love each other through. We got this. 

Enjoy yourself

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I had a huge aha moment this week that I’d love to share with you.

I am degree level qualified in beating myself up! As I’m sure many of you can relate to, I’ve developed a habit of being harsh to myself and berating myself when I feel I should be doing better. We do this as a means of self motivation and also to keep ourselves safe, as I’ve been learning in Kristen Neff’s book Self Compassion Step by Step. However usually the result is feeling bad, not good enough and guilty. If you’re a fan of Abraham Hicks and know about the Law of Attraction you’ll remember that feeling good, especially about ourselves, is such an important part of drawing to you what it is you desire. With that in mind making myself feel bad in the hopes that I do better was clearly very counter productive.

You may have heard people say ‘talk to yourself as if you’re talking to a good friend’. Which is a great idea, but for me it didn’t resonate so much. So I came up with the idea of ‘treat yourself and talk to yourself as if you are your own baby or child’. Now this creates a whole new level of love, tenderness and wanting the very best. I started trying it out; if I was feeling guilty or negative about myself I would stop and reframe the moment as if I was my child, what would I say & do to support and make her feel better?

For example if I didn’t achieve as many tasks as I had planned that day I would catch myself telling myself, “you failed today, you probably wasted time, if you can’t do these tasks how are you ever going to achieve more?”. Then I stop and reframe it as if I were my child and then say “it’s ok, you tried your best and did more than yesterday. We both know you were very tired and the down time was just as important as the tasks. Relax and start again tomorrow”. Can you feel how wildly different the energy is in those two self talk examples? One is harsh and agitating and lowers the vibration, the other is soothing and calm and uplifting.

Changing my self talk whenever I notice the harsh critic has totally changed my week and I’ve felt so much better about myself and happier with myself than I have for weeks & weeks. Once I’d had this realisation I started listening to Kristen Neff’s book and she suggests exactly the same idea of treating yourself as your own child. This synchronicity, along with many others during the week, confirmed that this practice is spot on and to keep it up.

So how does the title ‘Enjoy yourself’ relate? It’s such a common phrase we offer to people if they’re going to a party with lots of people, staying in and watching TV or going for a long walk on their own. It means enjoy YOURSELF! Not necessarily enjoy the other people, the music, the view or whatever it is you are surrounded by. The key is to enjoy YOURSELF. Take pleasure in yourself, wherever you are and whatever you do YOU are always there so the better you can feel about yourself, the kinder you can be to yourself, the more enjoyable everything else will be. And as the Law of Attraction teaches, feeling good is the key to creating your dreams. 

Sadness at the end of a Netflix series 

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Yes I’m being serious!! Have you ever felt that sadness and missing of the characters in a series that really touched your heart and, more often than not, was a welcome escape from being present to whatever’s happening in your life at the time?

I remember when my father in law died my husband asked me stay at home rather than join him to be with his family. I was alone and having not experienced the death of a parent was overwhelmed and emotional. The wonderful series Nashville was there for me, along with red wine and cigarettes (they were roll ups which don’t really count..). It was inspiring, dramatic and I fell for the characters.

This time it’s Friday Night Lights, the very special small town, American football show. Interestingly they both star Connie Britton who is sweet, stunning and an independent, inspiring woman in both.

The marriage of the football coach and his wife (Connie Britton) filled me with hope for myself and sadness at the failure of my marriage experience so far. They were both inspiring leaders in their community, they compromised and were incredibly honest all the time. They loved each other and still had the spark as well as being incredible parents, leading by example.

This time the series helped my through the reality of slowly recovering from Chronic Fatigue Syndrome and the process of trying to let go of my marriage. My hopes and dreams are intertwined in the story line and characters, as well as sadness when a sweet moment reminds me of a not so sweet time in my life. I want a marriage like Coach & Connie. In the last episode an ex football quarterback asks Coach for his daughter’s hand in marriage…it took so much for the poor guy to build up the courage. It made me think how could my ex husband have gone through all the steps of getting married, including asking my Dad and promising to take care of me forever, to throw it all away?

I think these stories and characters come along at just the right time…to give us hope in love, in life, in dreams and in the future. Messages from our angels and spirit guides maybe?

This time I’ve been accompanied by a bottle or two of craft beer and my vape (e-cigarette) which I think is progress 😄