The top Life Coaches and personal development gurus do this…


I’ve been loving that Super Soul with Oprah is now a Podcast! Listening to the best in the business share their experiences and wisdom while going about my day is one of my favourite things to do. 

Listening to Tony Robbins, Life Coach extraordinare, and Iyanla Vanzant, creator of The TV show Fix My Life and incredible speaker, they both focused on the same practice at the core of spiritual growth and living in alignment with your true purpose…connecting with your heart (your intuition, God, the universe). One of my mentors, Sonia Tully, has taught me a very similar practice that I use all the time to get guidance and I love it because it’s quick, easy and so clear. 

Tony describes choosing something in your life that you’re struggling with at a level of 7 out of 10. Closing your eyes and putting your hand on your heart and bringing to mind 3 separate experiences you are grateful for e.g. The birth of your child, achieving a goal or a special time with friends. Then once you’ve got yourself into the state (vibration) of gratitude you ask your heart what to do about the problem you are facing and listen for the guidance. 

Iyanla talks about being in the God space in prayer, feeling completely connected and at one with creation. She emphasises that your intuition is key to the choices you make and is how we receive guidance from God. Oprah says if you’re out of alignment with your higher purpose God hits you first with a pebble, then if you don’t listen the rock gets bigger and bigger until it’s a boulder. This is a metaphor for the intuitive nudges we get that we ignore, for example if you bring on a new business partner you may have some misgivings but ignore them. Then a few things start to go wrong in your business, but you soldier on. Eventually the business may fail and you go bankrupt (the boulder!). This is not a punishment from God or the universe, it’s purely because that situation or relationship, in the form it’s in, it’s untenable for you and out of alignment with your deepest desires. So eventually it has to break down completely if you don’t listen and act on the red flags. 

Sonia, my mentor, teaches a beautiful tool called ‘My heads says….and my heart says….’ Choose something your worried about or struggling with, then speak out loud ‘my head says….’ and say all the thoughts and stuff your head is saying to you e.g. I’m not sure I can do this, am I good enough? What will they say? Etc. Then take a deep breath, put your hand on your heart and tune in – then say ‘my heart says…’ and allow the words to come naturally. Can you feel the difference in energy of your head and your heart? What do they both feel like? 

I love that there is so much emphasis on how essential it is to connect to your heart and your intuition. That is the space we create from and heal in. 

Sending love ❤️ 

Image credit: upliftconnect.com 

People pleasing leading to disease…and how to heal from it

In this video I explain what people pleasing is (I should know, I’m an expert!) and how it can lead to autoimmune disease – as it did for me. I learned how to set boundaries in order to take care of myself and heal myself from the disease to please. Thank goodness!!

Country music and Bhakti yoga 


I went to a wonderful concert recently, performed by the cast of the Nashville TV series. It was at the beautiful setting of the Royal Albert Hall in London. And I cried the whole way through! 

Country music is, I find, especially emotional and passionate. The performers were incredible, loving and heartfelt. They connected with my heart and literally broke it open with their words and intention. Once the tears started to flow there was no stopping them. I realised it wasn’t just the music that was making me cry, it was the catalyst for me to release my emotions. 

It reminded me very much of my stay in India where I lived in an ashram and joined in with a 7 day Bhakti yoga celebration; Bhakti yoga is the practice of chanting as a way of connecting to the divine. We were in Vrindavan, which is the birthplace of the Hindu God Krishna, Krishna is the lover God! He had many women, gopis, who were in love with him and folllowed him around. So for days we listened to stories and chanted together culminating in the final day when an ecstatic, love fest, dance party broke out! The high vibration energy and the love between us all was palpable – we were connected to each other and to the divine and it was an incredible dance and flow of beauty and love – as you can see in the photo. 

Listening to the Nashville concert had a similar effect of joining everyone in the room by the heart. I realised, as the tears were running down my face, that I’ve kept my heart on lock down for a long time now. My heart was badly broken and with the best intentions of protecting it I unconsciously put it carefully in a safe place, on lock down. As the music played and my emotions flooded to the surface I could feel my heart cracking open and allowing in the love and the pain. It felt good and scary and exhausting, a huge relief. 

It felt so much better to experience the emotions, not that it was comfortable, than to shut them down. Feeling is being alive. My whole body shifted, my shoulders relaxed and I could move more freely. The audience stood up and danced for the last few songs, it’s no accident that music and dancing are intrinsically connected. When the emotion is coming up moving your body helps it move through you and out, hence ‘e-motion’. Dancing is an awesome way to do this, moving your hips and shoulders, often the places in the body emotion and tension gets stuck. One of my yoga teachers told me that if I’m feeling uninspired with my home practice, to turn on some tunes and just move my body in any way that feels good – I do this all the time and I love it! Try it… 😘

Phoenix rising from the ashes – so where the f**k is my Phoenix? 

Have you been through a life stopping, world changing experience and have been told and read that after the flames have swallowed you up you’ll rise stronger & better than ever before – but in reality you still feel shitty, are waiting for the Phoenix and it’s no where to be seen? 

I’m totally with you. This is where I am right now. After a marriage ending, swiftly followed by an autoimmune illness, life felt like it stopped and I was in pieces. So now I’m moving to the other side of getting back to life and myself and I’m waiting for the beautiful Phoenix to rise from my ashes and if anything I feel more anxious and vulnerable than I before this all happened. WTF?! 

It’s so easy to worry that I’ll never be as strong and feel as capable as I was before. Will I reach my potential? Do I have what it takes to make my dreams come true? Right now these questions feel very real and raw and terrifying. What if every time something terrible happens (as it inevitably will in life) I just get weaker? What if I’m not one of those people who comes back stronger? What if I have no Phoenix? Thinking like this makes the future feel very hard and overwhelming. 

I’m choosing to believe that it takes time. That I do have what it takes, we all do, and to build back up takes time and patience and faith. And a lot of love – from others but mainly for myself. I’m finding that doing things I love and that feel like part of my life purpose helps so much. For me that’s yoga, creativity, healthy living and spending time with soulful people. 

Maybe the Phoenix starts out as a little baby bird in the ashes, which are still hot from the fire. Maybe our job is to treat ourselves like that baby bird, keep it safe, healthy and loved while it grows getting bigger and stronger. And one day you spread your wings, feeling powerful and magical, to rise up from your ashes into the beautiful, limitless sky. 

This is my hope for you and for me. We can love our way through. We can love each other through. We got this. 

What’s real? And what looks good/ positive/ fixed up/ not messy? 

 

Prince quote

It’s funny because just this week I read a blog post by a life coach I know who explained she hadn’t posted for a while, not because she hadn’t written any posts (she’d written 6 or 7) but she just hadn’t published them. And last week I did just that! I’ve written numerous posts as the feelings and words come to me and have published none of them. Why? Because they’re messy, sad, sound pathetic, they are a string of questions rather than an answer and they even contradict each other! In one post I found a clear answer and in another I don’t have the answer to the same question.

My conclusion is people and life are real which means messy, contradictory and feel the whole spectrum of emotions…I certainly don’t have all the answers. While it may feed my ego and feel more comfortable to present a consistently positive image of myself on these pages, it wouldn’t be real. What I can do here is be honest, share my stories and experiences to firstly help myself to process my thoughts and feelings, and hopefully help others to feel they are not alone in their humanness when going through life’s dark times. Maybe even to give some insight to those who are supporting their loved ones through ups and downs.

As the awe inspiring Prince once said ‘we are gathered here today to get through this thing called life’ and together is really the only way to do it, I feel…

What to do when you don’t know what to do

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Today I had a situation which seemed like a lose-lose kinda situation – I was in a catch 22 and which ever way I went would be difficult. I felt stressed, emotional and I was trying to work out what the best move was in my head which was exhausting and unhelpful. I reached out to family and friends who were all supportive but they all had their own ideas which were all different – confusing!

Finally after stressing, crying, talking and worrying I decided I was getting nowhere. So I gave myself some space, calmed down and took a few breaths and remembered another way to approach it – through my spirit, through God and the Angels and my guides. I use Angel tarot cards to access guidance so I grabbed my phone and downloaded the app (I didn’t have my deck of cards on me). I prayed and asked a very simple ‘yes or no’ question – should I stay? The answer was a resounding yes!! It reminded me that I had consulted the cards when I was making a very similar decision recently and again the answer was clear and I followed the guidance. To be honest in both cases to my mind and my emotions the option of staying seemed like the most challenging and uncomfortable one.

I took the reading a little further and did a 5 card reading going into the situation in more depth. Again the cards were clear that I should stay. I felt very strongly that there is a reason I need to stay that is utterly invisible to me now, but I’m sure will become clear in time. God, the universe, the Angels have the BIG picture when our minds have a minuscule perspective. All of a sudden rather than questioning myself on whether I’m crazy for making important life decisions based on a few cards with pictures and words on them, it seemed crazy to try and work out what the best solution is from my tiny view point.

I felt such a sense of calm and peace at this realisation and there and the made my choice in full faith that I’m being guided by something far greater, that I can trust and let go of control. What a relief!

I highly recommend you try it – http://www.angeltherapy.com – Doreen Virtue’s website has a free oracle card section which is exactly where I started.

With love xx