What they don’t tell you about manifesting…

you are lovely

I’m sure you’ve heard of the Law of Attraction, or the book The Secret, which is based on the Law of Attraction. Manifesting what your heart desires is a spiritual process, to which an understanding of these universal laws is extremely helpful.

I use manifestation practices in my life every single day and the results constantly amaze and delight me. However there more to it than ‘think positive thoughts and all you desire will fall in your lap’.

For the purposes of this blog I am assuming you have a basic understanding of the manifestation process, as rather than write another book on how to manifest (there many wonderful books out there!) I want to share 3 tips which are little talked about, but crucial to getting the results you want.

  1. There is often a gap between setting your intention, taking action and the result actually appearing in your life. So many people do wonderful work of setting up their manifestation, then it doesn’t appear immediately and they lose hope and faith. Holding your intention, and your belief, that what it is you most want is true for you, in that space in between, is crucial. You can imagine the universe is responding to your desire, has started moving to give it to you, in line with the action you’ve taken towards it, then you stop and start to doubt, and the universe gets the message that you maybe don’t want it so much after all. This is meant in no way to scare you into never having doubts, it’s to make you aware of the importance of maintaining your level of commitment and belief, even when it may seem your heart’s desire is no where to be found.
  2. What limits our ability to manifest is so often to be found within ourselves, our thoughts playing a big part. Thoughts lead to feelings and actions, which lead back to thoughts and so on and so on. Being mindful of our thoughts is our job during the manifestation process. For example, say you are wanting to create more financial abundance in your life and you have got clear about how much money you want to make and doing the work of taking action to create it. Great start! But if you are going through your days saying to yourself, or out load, ‘I can’t afford that, I’ll never be able to afford that, I am destined to be struggling financially, I don’t deserve more than I have’ you are negating the process. The universe only says YES! So if you are offering those thoughts of lack, the universe will respond with ‘YES, you can’t afford that, YES, you are destined to be struggling financially…and so on’. The first step in overcoming this limiting factor is to become aware of your thoughts and whenever you notice a lack thought you consciously step in and change it. For example; ‘I can’t afford that’ could be flipped to ‘I can easily afford to buy 5 of those if I really want to, and give the rest to my friends’. I’m not saying go ahead and buy it if the money has not yet landed in your bank, however changing the thought will change your vibration to one of abundance resulting in the universe saying ‘YES!’
  3. When we delve a little deeper from the level of thought, we find ourselves at the level of beliefs. I’m sure you’ve heard the term ‘limiting beliefs’ and our beliefs can empower us to wonderful experiences, or keep us stuck in realities we dislike. The tricky thing about beliefs and our brains is that our brains are programmed to filter what we experience to actively support the beliefs we have established. For example if you were doing a presentation to a group of people and you had a belief that those people would not enjoy, pay attention to or support you. You would be looking around the room as you are speaking and your mind would focus in on the one person who is on their phone and barely looking at you, your mind would say ‘see, I knew it, they don’t care and this is a waste of time’. What your mind wouldn’t see is the rest of the room who are hanging on your every word and looking at you with encouragement. The result this can have on your manifestation process is you don’t even see the opportunities that the universe has placed right under your nose! The good news is you can absolutely re-programme your beliefs to support your dreams, the bad news is it’s not always easy. It is your job and your responsibility to do what it takes to break down old, limiting beliefs and create new supportive ones. Whether that involves reading books and self study or working with a coach or therapist.

Sending love xx


Valentine’s Day – Self Love

self love quote

Firstly – Happy Valentine’s Day!!

Secondly I wanted to write you a little note about all this ‘use Valentine’s Day to love yourself’ chat that’s flying around social media. Don’t get me wrong, I 100% agree with this message and support self love everyday as a priority. However not all of us find it easy to really love ourselves, in fact for me it has been a long and painful journey of discovery to learn how essential it really is. My concern is that the self development tribe, while expressing an incredibly worthwhile sentiment, might be causing some people to feel inadequate because they find it hard love themselves. Potentially adding another reason for us to doubt ourselves…you see where I’m going with this…?

I am here to tell you if you find it hard and icky and weird to show yourself love and tell yourself that you love yourself, you are not alone, you are not weird and you are not missing something!

When one of my mentors first suggested to me, years ago, that I stand in front of a mirror and tell myself I loved myself I literally couldn’t do it! I tried, I really did, the words wouldn’t come out of my mouth, and when I forced them I didn’t believe them in the slightest, I found it embarrassing (even though it was only me in the room) and it actually made me feel worse because I was ‘failing’ at something that seemed so simple.

What I’m saying is often, especially for us ladies, the process of learning to really love ourselves, and allowing ourselves to put ME first, is a journey. At times it can be a painful journey because in starting the practice of self love all the parts of us that we don’t love, or all the aspects that block that love, come right up to the surface and stare us in the face.

My experience in the mirror all those years ago was actually a real turning point for me, I realised I really didn’t love myself and I needed to delve deeper into what was going on there and do some course correcting. My personal experience of learning to love myself was incredibly painful and involved huge life changes, perhaps because I only really learned the lesson when there was absolutely no other option. I’m in no way saying this needs to be the case for you, or anyone. But I do feel it’s important to say this is not a subject to ‘pour pink paint over’ as Marianne Williamson says, that is to gloss over and make it look pretty with insta posts about rose petal baths and heart shaped cakes. Haha – I’m sounding like the Valentine’s Day scrooge 🙂 Which is funny because I actually really like Valentine’s Day!

My point is, yes, please do love yourself as much as you can, especially on Valentine’s Day when many people feel left out if they are single or hurting. However please don’t be down on yourself if you find it difficult to love yourself today, it’s normal and it’s OK. You’re absolutely OK and wonderful and we’re all in this together.

As Prince said ‘Dearly beloved, we are gathered here today, to get through this thing called life’. Whether we are feeling loving to ourselves, or not, loving to others, or not, lets hold hands and do this thing together.

With all my love xxx

Image from movemequotes.tumblr.com