Following your inner guidance + taking aligned action = manifesting your dreams


There have been times in my life when I was super good at being very structured and disciplined. I had my time mapped out each day and was taking heaps of action to build my business, stay healthy etc. etc. I was doing all the RIGHT things. But I wasn’t moving very quickly, or successfully, to the realisation of my dreams and goals. There have been other times when I was deeply connected to my spirit and my intuition but wasn’t taking much action at all, and again little forward motion. I have learnt that balancing being present and listening to my inner guidance, artfully combined with following that guidance by taking specific actions, is the sweet spot. In this place synchronicities flood in, what I need to reach goal after goal is magically available and the journey is fun and energising.

When I was living mostly from my intellect, or ego, I was very busy and got lots done, but the progress was slow and laboured. I had somewhere along the line of growing up, figuring out how to fit in with life and the people around me, disconnected from my intuition. Meaning that I could take as much action as I liked but the flow and ease wasn’t there. This was exhausting and I actually ended up being diagnosed with Chronic Fatigue Syndrome. The causes of autoimmune illness are never that simple, but it was certainly a contributing factor.

Being so disconnected from my intuition meant I was giving 110% but often times in the wrong directions and to the wrong people or projects. The result was I was keeping myself stuck on a kind of never-ending merry-go-round. Finally my body had had enough and shut down; so many of our intuitive messages come through the body, it never lies. My brain was focused and determined on the path I was on, but my body knew better and thankfully stepped in to call a huge time-out.

While I was tapped out of the majority of ‘life occasions’ by my illness I had time to reflect and I started to study and learn how to re-connect with myself, my spirit and my own inner guidance system. This system is the most incredible and well informed way to make our choices and live our lives. The knowing we can access from our higher selves goes way beyond what the limited intellect can figure out. This is where miracles come from, and impossibly perfect timing and magical synchronicity. Not that I am not extremely grateful to my intellect, it is excellent when put to good use in service of my true purpose. However is not great at running the show, as it is by its very nature limited to our 5 senses. The sixth sense, that we all (without exception) have access to is where the magic happens.

Now that I’ve created a good balance of tuning into my intuition and taking action that is aligned with my dreams I am guided to find the information I need, or connect with the person who can help me or go to the event that speaks directly to what I’m struggling with. For example I was invited to a business presentation a few weeks ago, initially I decided no as it was last minute, I had other plans and rearranging them would be a mission. Also I was pretty nervous about going for a number of reasons, but when I tuned in I felt it was the right move. So I reorganised my calendar and put my big girl panties on and went. While I was there I talked to one person who had 100% experienced what I’m going through right now in my personal life, and she was able to support me so I didn’t feel like a terrible, crazy person. Another friend who I haven’t seen for yonks completely validated a brand new business idea I had and shared numerous resources which have helped me immeasurably! It really did feel magical – like the universe was giving me gift after gift in the space of just a few hours. 

Combine your sixth sense, your intuition or your inner guidance system with aligned actions and you have a divine recipe for a beautifully fulfilling and successful life. I am not saying life will be all beers and skittles if you follow this recipe, life will still throw us curve balls and as humans we are messy by nature. However the tools you gain by learning to connect to your own, personal Google Maps of life and taking inspired action will support you through the wonders and the depths of this life has in store for you.

The Power of Ritual (warning: my soul laid bare)

Last year I was trying to get over my marriage ending, find some resolution, understanding and move on. It’s a process. One particular day I felt very strongly guided to do a ritual for the ending of the my marriage. Funnily enough it was also 4th July, Independence Day for all my American friends. (There was no forward planning on that one.)

This is the spot that I chose, near my home in London, right by the river in a beautiful and private place.

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I wore my rings for the last time while I sat by the river feeling all the waves of emotions that were coursing through me.

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I took a copy of my marriage certificate with me (you need the real one for the divorce – which takes 2 years…so a copy was the practical option). I burnt it as a symbol of the of the ending. There was no malice involved, more of a ‘dust to dust, ashes to ashes’ type mourning vibe.

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It felt important to write a message from my soul to his on the last little piece of the certificate. Words that I couldn’t say to him in person because he would probably think I was a crazy person. I was in floods of tears as the emotions spilled out of me. At this point I should probably add, in the name of authenticity, that I also had a bottle of Prosecco and packet of cigarettes with me.

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Once I had finished saying my goodbyes I rolled the little note into my ring and prepared to throw it in the water. I said so many prayers for him and for me, that the pain would ease, that life would be bright again, that there was some point to all this.

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I threw it in the water and watched it slowly sink. So much beauty and meaning in the middle of so much pain.

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After I was all cried out and a bottle of Prosecco down I decided to go out, by myself, to celebrate the 4th of July. So I did. I went to an event in central London and met some great people and had a fun and crazy night.

It was interesting that I completely followed my intuition to do the ritual, I hadn’t read any suggestions online, I just did what I felt. And it struck me that so many rituals in life involve earth, fire and water. We are baptised in water and cremated in fire or buried in death. I was inexplicably drawn to sit down on the earth, burn my marriage certificate and throw my ring and final love note to my husband in the water. Life and death. Cleansing and detoxifying. Grounding and yet overwhelmingly emotional.

The ending of the story is not ‘and then I was fine and healed and life just got better and better’. No. It was a very special, painful, emotional, deeply loving part of the process. It created more love and acceptance and that is really all we need.

With so much love, Gemma xx

People pleasing leading to disease…and how to heal from it

In this video I explain what people pleasing is (I should know, I’m an expert!) and how it can lead to autoimmune disease – as it did for me. I learned how to set boundaries in order to take care of myself and heal myself from the disease to please. Thank goodness!!

Country music and Bhakti yoga 


I went to a wonderful concert recently, performed by the cast of the Nashville TV series. It was at the beautiful setting of the Royal Albert Hall in London. And I cried the whole way through! 

Country music is, I find, especially emotional and passionate. The performers were incredible, loving and heartfelt. They connected with my heart and literally broke it open with their words and intention. Once the tears started to flow there was no stopping them. I realised it wasn’t just the music that was making me cry, it was the catalyst for me to release my emotions. 

It reminded me very much of my stay in India where I lived in an ashram and joined in with a 7 day Bhakti yoga celebration; Bhakti yoga is the practice of chanting as a way of connecting to the divine. We were in Vrindavan, which is the birthplace of the Hindu God Krishna, Krishna is the lover God! He had many women, gopis, who were in love with him and folllowed him around. So for days we listened to stories and chanted together culminating in the final day when an ecstatic, love fest, dance party broke out! The high vibration energy and the love between us all was palpable – we were connected to each other and to the divine and it was an incredible dance and flow of beauty and love – as you can see in the photo. 

Listening to the Nashville concert had a similar effect of joining everyone in the room by the heart. I realised, as the tears were running down my face, that I’ve kept my heart on lock down for a long time now. My heart was badly broken and with the best intentions of protecting it I unconsciously put it carefully in a safe place, on lock down. As the music played and my emotions flooded to the surface I could feel my heart cracking open and allowing in the love and the pain. It felt good and scary and exhausting, a huge relief. 

It felt so much better to experience the emotions, not that it was comfortable, than to shut them down. Feeling is being alive. My whole body shifted, my shoulders relaxed and I could move more freely. The audience stood up and danced for the last few songs, it’s no accident that music and dancing are intrinsically connected. When the emotion is coming up moving your body helps it move through you and out, hence ‘e-motion’. Dancing is an awesome way to do this, moving your hips and shoulders, often the places in the body emotion and tension gets stuck. One of my yoga teachers told me that if I’m feeling uninspired with my home practice, to turn on some tunes and just move my body in any way that feels good – I do this all the time and I love it! Try it… 😘

Bad vibes = get out! 

I went to an event recently, it was a totally new place with all new people. I was excited to make friends and maybe do some networking. Anyway I went along and it was good to start with, there were some interesting people and nice conversations. Then I started talking to a guy who monologued at me for a long time in a pretty overwhelming way about super low energy things, like how you don’t have to pay your debts…etc etc. 

After a little bit I was feeling suffocated by him and his non stop words. I was trying to find a way out of this interaction for minutes until I finally just said I had to go and walked away. I tried to get into the swing of it again and started conversations with some other people but couldn’t shake the feeling of discomfort and bad vibes. Pretty soon I gave up completely and made my excuses to leave and head home. 

I felt horrible, like it was somehow my fault, like I’d failed at my plan of having a fun evening with new people. I was walking fast trying to move the weird energy out of my body. I was so relieved to get outta there! 

My point is that I felt bad vibes during that  interaction, they took hold in my head and in my body. The best plan of action was to get out as fast as possible. I know it’s not always possible to leave a situation when you feel bad vibes, for example if you’re at work and can’t just walk out. But you can leave the room, go to the bathroom & press your feet into the floor to ground yourself. Better yet go for a walk outside & get present with the sounds and sights out there. Walking in nature if possible is the best medicine! Really taking in the trees, water, bird song, wind on your face. You’ll feel cleansed and refreshed. 

So many times recently I’ve felt bad vibes about a person or a situation but I haven’t trusted myself, I’ve second guessed my intuition and intellectualised my way out of it. Only to learn afterwards that my vibes were totally on point. The lesson = trust your vibes and exactly as it says above ‘fuck your bad vibes bro’ 🤣 

Beginner’s intro to yoga – video

As a yoga teacher people often tell me they want to do yoga, but are nervous of going to a class having never done it before. This video is a very gentle introduction to yoga that you can do at home with no one watching. It introduces you to breathing with your movements, gentle stretching and a deep relaxation at the end. 

Even though I’m a yoga teacher I still find it difficult sometimes to get on my mat to practice. Sometimes I’m uninspired, or don’t want to be alone and so incredibly present with myself and my feelings. Bringing my interrupted awareness to my breath and my body, as we do in yoga, can feel raw and challenging as the emotions and thoughts I’ve been ignoring come up to the surface. This may not feel comfortable in the moment but is so essential and cleansing – to move the energy of those thoughts and emotions through and eventually out of my body. 

That’s one of the many reasons I love following yoga videos at home – I feel like I’m not doing it alone and the teacher on the screen is supporting and guiding me. I hope you have a similar experience. 

 

(1)0 ways to cope with a break up 


I’ve been wanting to write about this for a long time because I’ve read so many lists of usual suspects on how to cope with grief, pain, loss and myriad of emotions that comes with a relationship ending. By the usual suspects I mean…

‘Do exercise, don’t drink alcohol, don’t isolate, get therapy, sleep, make sure you’re looking & feeling as good as possible…’ 

While they are all good suggestions on paper, at the time they can make you want to punch someone or collapse into a heap. Now this is probably a little controversial; these contrived ‘positive thinking and doing’ lists are mostly what we all know to do anyway – most people are not great at taking awesome care of themselves in the good times – so this can make you feel even worse when you’re not holding it together in the bad times. And this brings up what I feel is one of the most important subjects – shame. These ’10 ways to get through a break up’ articles, listing some of the above, can be a real shame trigger. Because when you’re barely getting out of bed or have swapped your tea at bedtime for tequila, the list is yet another thing you’re failing at. 

Shame is insidious and deeply damaging. Going through the break down of a marriage can bring up bucket loads of shame and talking about that is, I feel, much more useful. You may well have heard of Brene Brown, one of my favourite authors and shame & vulnerability researcher, she has uncovered for us that shame is feeling that we are somehow bad, rather than we did a bad thing, which would be a feeling of guilt. She explains how nothing good ever comes from feeling shame, there is nothing motivating about it or useful in it. Brene describes shame as ‘the instensely painful feeling that we are unworthy of love and belonging’. And it’s one of the most human and primitive emotions there is. She also calls it lethal. 

My list of ‘how to deal with break ups’ has only one crucial point – do everything you can to avoid shame. When our lives get turned upside down and inside out there will very likely be mistakes, bad behaviour, harsh words, drinking too much, eating too much, skipping the gym for weeks… I’m not saying those are good things and they’ll help you, they won’t, but we’re human and we’re messy. I’m saying it’s ok and you’re ok and whatever you, or others, do and say it doesn’t mean you are bad and deserve to feel shame. In fact quite the opposite. It means you’re in pain and need to be loved, not judged, by yourself and others. 

I am all for self love and self care, taking a long bath or going for a massage are wonderful ways to take care of yourself. But what’s even more important is when you’ve fucked up, and trust me I have, to reject the shame you and/or others pour on you. This is warrior self love. Loving yourself in the midst of the battle. 

How do you do this? In my experience having just a few close people in your life who can be your champion, even in the darkness, is the most healing. Having someone empathise and reflect back to you your messy humanness and your beautiful spirit – and telling you that it’s all ok and you’re loved no matter what. I have been lucky enough to experience this both through professional support and family and friends. If you don’t currently have someone to be your champion, go find one. 

Do all the good things on the lists as much you can, and when you don’t or do the opposite, know that you’re doing the best you can. If anyone tries to shame you, keep your distance for a while. If you’re shaming yourself reach out to your champion and get vulnerable, share your good, bad and ugly feelings and know that you’re not alone. Brene says there are three things that shame needs to keep growing; secrecy, silence and judgment. Being human means being messy and imperfect. I’m holding your hand and you’re not alone.