The top Life Coaches and personal development gurus do this…


I’ve been loving that Super Soul with Oprah is now a Podcast! Listening to the best in the business share their experiences and wisdom while going about my day is one of my favourite things to do. 

Listening to Tony Robbins, Life Coach extraordinare, and Iyanla Vanzant, creator of The TV show Fix My Life and incredible speaker, they both focused on the same practice at the core of spiritual growth and living in alignment with your true purpose…connecting with your heart (your intuition, God, the universe). One of my mentors, Sonia Tully, has taught me a very similar practice that I use all the time to get guidance and I love it because it’s quick, easy and so clear. 

Tony describes choosing something in your life that you’re struggling with at a level of 7 out of 10. Closing your eyes and putting your hand on your heart and bringing to mind 3 separate experiences you are grateful for e.g. The birth of your child, achieving a goal or a special time with friends. Then once you’ve got yourself into the state (vibration) of gratitude you ask your heart what to do about the problem you are facing and listen for the guidance. 

Iyanla talks about being in the God space in prayer, feeling completely connected and at one with creation. She emphasises that your intuition is key to the choices you make and is how we receive guidance from God. Oprah says if you’re out of alignment with your higher purpose God hits you first with a pebble, then if you don’t listen the rock gets bigger and bigger until it’s a boulder. This is a metaphor for the intuitive nudges we get that we ignore, for example if you bring on a new business partner you may have some misgivings but ignore them. Then a few things start to go wrong in your business, but you soldier on. Eventually the business may fail and you go bankrupt (the boulder!). This is not a punishment from God or the universe, it’s purely because that situation or relationship, in the form it’s in, it’s untenable for you and out of alignment with your deepest desires. So eventually it has to break down completely if you don’t listen and act on the red flags. 

Sonia, my mentor, teaches a beautiful tool called ‘My heads says….and my heart says….’ Choose something your worried about or struggling with, then speak out loud ‘my head says….’ and say all the thoughts and stuff your head is saying to you e.g. I’m not sure I can do this, am I good enough? What will they say? Etc. Then take a deep breath, put your hand on your heart and tune in – then say ‘my heart says…’ and allow the words to come naturally. Can you feel the difference in energy of your head and your heart? What do they both feel like? 

I love that there is so much emphasis on how essential it is to connect to your heart and your intuition. That is the space we create from and heal in. 

Sending love ❤️ 

Image credit: upliftconnect.com 

How do you connect to your intuition? 

My first experience of actively connecting with my intuition was using a very practical tool – oracle cards. I started using Angel oracle cards created by Doreen Virtue; there are so many different card decks out there for you to choose from. I loved this tool because I could hold the cards in my hands, there was a guidebook with instructions & explanations. It was practical rather than conceptual. I would pull cards to answer all kind of questions and use the guidebook, in conjunction with my intuition, to interpret the message. There are even apps you can download onto your phone now.  

How you start to interpret messages is by reading words on the cards, looking up each card in the guideboook and asking yourself what the images mean to you. Bring your awareness to your thoughts, feelings, ideas and visualisations to piece together the guidance that comes through. There is lots to learn about card readings, I completed an Angel Tarot Card Reader training which was fab, but you certainly don’t need to have heaps of training to use this tool to connect to your intuition.

At first it can feel very uncomfortable trying to figure out ‘what’s my intuition & what’s my mind or my imagination’? Which is why it’s recommended to start by asking questions or seeking guidance on subjects that not too heavily emotionally laden. For example – what do you suggest I focus on today? Rather than will my current relationship last? 

The gut feeling. We’ve all used the phrase – I have a gut feeling about this; meaning I have a feeling in my body, specifically in the tummy area, that is giving me information on this subject that I can’t verify externally. This is most often your intuition. I like to use my ‘gut feeling’ to help me with a yes or no answer. I pose my yes or no question and bring my attention to the sensation to my tummy. For me a yes feels like a lifting and lightening of the energy around my middle, whereas a no is more of a sinking, lowering feeling in my tummy. Test it out with questions you know the answer to and see what a yes and no feels like to you in your body. For example my name is….say the wrong name to get a no & the right name to get a yes. 

Another tool I use almost everyday is a little more subtle and may take a bit more practice, so don’t feel disheartened if it doesn’t feel clear straight away. Before I go sleep at night, when I’m in bed with my eyes closed, I thank my intellect for all the hard work it’s done during the day and suggest it has a break. I feel like my prefrontal cortex (the front part of my brain) is almost moving back a little into my skull – I’m sure it isn’t, it’s more my visualisation. Giving my intellect the back seat allows space for my higher self, my intuition, my angels and guides to come in. If you’re not comfortable with the words angels or guides just think of it as your inner guidance system. 

You might feel a shift in energy, more subtle and peaceful, like a safe space. From here I communicate with my thoughts and ‘listen’ for answers. There are a number of different ways we can perceive intuitive guidance; clairaudience is the ‘hearing’ of guidance. This usually doesn’t mean an external sound, like the sound of others talking, but rather an internal perception of words. It is similar to thoughts but it has a very different quality to it. I find thoughts usually have lots and lots of words, they run quite fast and feel almost energetically jaggedy. Whereas my intuitive guidance has few words, is very clear and comes in quickly and has an energetic quality like clear glass. So if thoughts feel like the opaque glass you have in bathrooms, guidance feels like completely clear glass. I know that sounds pretty abstract! Give it a try and see how it feels to you, remembering not to put too much pressure on yourself and start with simple, unemotional requests. 

Let me know how you get on! 😘

People pleasing leading to disease…and how to heal from it

In this video I explain what people pleasing is (I should know, I’m an expert!) and how it can lead to autoimmune disease – as it did for me. I learned how to set boundaries in order to take care of myself and heal myself from the disease to please. Thank goodness!!

Country music and Bhakti yoga 


I went to a wonderful concert recently, performed by the cast of the Nashville TV series. It was at the beautiful setting of the Royal Albert Hall in London. And I cried the whole way through! 

Country music is, I find, especially emotional and passionate. The performers were incredible, loving and heartfelt. They connected with my heart and literally broke it open with their words and intention. Once the tears started to flow there was no stopping them. I realised it wasn’t just the music that was making me cry, it was the catalyst for me to release my emotions. 

It reminded me very much of my stay in India where I lived in an ashram and joined in with a 7 day Bhakti yoga celebration; Bhakti yoga is the practice of chanting as a way of connecting to the divine. We were in Vrindavan, which is the birthplace of the Hindu God Krishna, Krishna is the lover God! He had many women, gopis, who were in love with him and folllowed him around. So for days we listened to stories and chanted together culminating in the final day when an ecstatic, love fest, dance party broke out! The high vibration energy and the love between us all was palpable – we were connected to each other and to the divine and it was an incredible dance and flow of beauty and love – as you can see in the photo. 

Listening to the Nashville concert had a similar effect of joining everyone in the room by the heart. I realised, as the tears were running down my face, that I’ve kept my heart on lock down for a long time now. My heart was badly broken and with the best intentions of protecting it I unconsciously put it carefully in a safe place, on lock down. As the music played and my emotions flooded to the surface I could feel my heart cracking open and allowing in the love and the pain. It felt good and scary and exhausting, a huge relief. 

It felt so much better to experience the emotions, not that it was comfortable, than to shut them down. Feeling is being alive. My whole body shifted, my shoulders relaxed and I could move more freely. The audience stood up and danced for the last few songs, it’s no accident that music and dancing are intrinsically connected. When the emotion is coming up moving your body helps it move through you and out, hence ‘e-motion’. Dancing is an awesome way to do this, moving your hips and shoulders, often the places in the body emotion and tension gets stuck. One of my yoga teachers told me that if I’m feeling uninspired with my home practice, to turn on some tunes and just move my body in any way that feels good – I do this all the time and I love it! Try it… 😘

Beginner’s intro to yoga – video

As a yoga teacher people often tell me they want to do yoga, but are nervous of going to a class having never done it before. This video is a very gentle introduction to yoga that you can do at home with no one watching. It introduces you to breathing with your movements, gentle stretching and a deep relaxation at the end. 

Even though I’m a yoga teacher I still find it difficult sometimes to get on my mat to practice. Sometimes I’m uninspired, or don’t want to be alone and so incredibly present with myself and my feelings. Bringing my interrupted awareness to my breath and my body, as we do in yoga, can feel raw and challenging as the emotions and thoughts I’ve been ignoring come up to the surface. This may not feel comfortable in the moment but is so essential and cleansing – to move the energy of those thoughts and emotions through and eventually out of my body. 

That’s one of the many reasons I love following yoga videos at home – I feel like I’m not doing it alone and the teacher on the screen is supporting and guiding me. I hope you have a similar experience. 

 

Sadness at the end of a Netflix series 

friday-night-lights

Yes I’m being serious!! Have you ever felt that sadness and missing of the characters in a series that really touched your heart and, more often than not, was a welcome escape from being present to whatever’s happening in your life at the time?

I remember when my father in law died my husband asked me stay at home rather than join him to be with his family. I was alone and having not experienced the death of a parent was overwhelmed and emotional. The wonderful series Nashville was there for me, along with red wine and cigarettes (they were roll ups which don’t really count..). It was inspiring, dramatic and I fell for the characters.

This time it’s Friday Night Lights, the very special small town, American football show. Interestingly they both star Connie Britton who is sweet, stunning and an independent, inspiring woman in both.

The marriage of the football coach and his wife (Connie Britton) filled me with hope for myself and sadness at the failure of my marriage experience so far. They were both inspiring leaders in their community, they compromised and were incredibly honest all the time. They loved each other and still had the spark as well as being incredible parents, leading by example.

This time the series helped my through the reality of slowly recovering from Chronic Fatigue Syndrome and the process of trying to let go of my marriage. My hopes and dreams are intertwined in the story line and characters, as well as sadness when a sweet moment reminds me of a not so sweet time in my life. I want a marriage like Coach & Connie. In the last episode an ex football quarterback asks Coach for his daughter’s hand in marriage…it took so much for the poor guy to build up the courage. It made me think how could my ex husband have gone through all the steps of getting married, including asking my Dad and promising to take care of me forever, to throw it all away?

I think these stories and characters come along at just the right time…to give us hope in love, in life, in dreams and in the future. Messages from our angels and spirit guides maybe?

This time I’ve been accompanied by a bottle or two of craft beer and my vape (e-cigarette) which I think is progress 😄

What’s real? And what looks good/ positive/ fixed up/ not messy? 

 

Prince quote

It’s funny because just this week I read a blog post by a life coach I know who explained she hadn’t posted for a while, not because she hadn’t written any posts (she’d written 6 or 7) but she just hadn’t published them. And last week I did just that! I’ve written numerous posts as the feelings and words come to me and have published none of them. Why? Because they’re messy, sad, sound pathetic, they are a string of questions rather than an answer and they even contradict each other! In one post I found a clear answer and in another I don’t have the answer to the same question.

My conclusion is people and life are real which means messy, contradictory and feel the whole spectrum of emotions…I certainly don’t have all the answers. While it may feed my ego and feel more comfortable to present a consistently positive image of myself on these pages, it wouldn’t be real. What I can do here is be honest, share my stories and experiences to firstly help myself to process my thoughts and feelings, and hopefully help others to feel they are not alone in their humanness when going through life’s dark times. Maybe even to give some insight to those who are supporting their loved ones through ups and downs.

As the awe inspiring Prince once said ‘we are gathered here today to get through this thing called life’ and together is really the only way to do it, I feel…