Your heart knows the way…

Your heart knows the way. Run in that direction. – Rumi

I remember my aunt telling me how beautiful and raw I was very soon after my marriage ended. I felt like I was on fire and like a total mess; sleep walking through each day and at times being in so much pain that I felt like I could spontaneously combust or break apart into little pieces. I had an inkling of what she meant then and now it’s much clearer; she was talking about the inescapable open woundedness that leaves ones heart completely bare and undefended during a very painful experience. Quite simply a heart and a soul that is open and raw allows a level of connection that is usually not available. It is beautiful and also magnetising.

It is this that people are referring to when they talk of the most exquisite beauty being found in the midst of the most unbearable pain. We are cracked open and the depth to which experiences are allowed to penetrate us is far greater than when we have our day-to-day, must get things done, ‘everything’s fine’ armour on.

I’ve recently been very busy and caught up in the day-to-day, I have been aware that my current day-to-day feels like it requires relatively hefty armour. By armour I mean the layers we feel we need to protect ourselves with in order to remain upright, functioning and achieving. Today I took some time to lay my armour down, to allow what usually must stay under wraps to have the floor. It didn’t feel comfortable and it didn’t feel good in the moment, because what I feel I must hide behind my armour is my pain and sensitivity and suffering.

However what I’ve noticed is that when we armour up to hide the parts of us we feel are not pleasant or acceptable to the wider world, we also shut out what could touch us deeply. The armour hides our dark shadowy aspects, but also blocks the exquisite beauty of deep connection to our hearts. It’s only when we put the armour down and allow all of ourselves to be seen and felt, that we are fully able to see and feel the majesty that surrounds us.

In this armourless state I read the Rumi quote above and my breath was caught by the simple beauty and meaning of these two lines; Your heart knows the way. Run in that direction. I was touched in a way that most other days I wouldn’t have been, I would have scrolled on past without much thought or presence. It felt good.

I’d like to leave you with my favourite Rumi quote, one that has been my constant mantra in very difficult times:

Out beyond ideas of wrongdoing and rightdoing, there is a field. I will meet you there.

Will I ever feel that way again?


Maybe the spark you felt in your relationship, that you are missing so much and can’t seem to find anymore, is actually you. Is your light mirrored back to you by the other person. If you’re feeling this loss give yourself time and space to come back to yourself to rediscover the connection and delight within you. Try not to worry that it’ll never return or you’ll never find it again.

The experience of loss, separation or divorce tears you in two, and more than likely into many pieces. It takes time and healing to reconnect the pieces of yourself. This disconnection within you, which is not forever unless you allow it to be, is what I feel is the ‘missing something’ we fear may never return after the loss of a loved one.

When I say it’s not lost forever unless you allow it to be; I mean there is a choice here. In order to heal deeply, learn the soul lessons and step into a bright new future you need to fully feel your feelings, be truthful and love yourself generously. All of these can be challenging and painful but are so worth it.

Honestly I’m still working on all of it. I’ve created the time and space to fully feel, I’m working with coaches and healers (including my angels and guides) to be open to the soul shifts and I’m taking steps to truly give myself the love I so desired from my husband. I fuck up often, I do great sometimes, I feel good at times and others I’m completely at a loss. And that’s ok, that’s normal, humans are messy.

I know this feeling that seems to be lost, that I long for, is the reflection of my light magnified by deep connection. It was in me and it still is – perhaps I feel I don’t have access to it at all, or maybe for very fleeting moments, but it’s not lost and will shine with even more radiance in my future and in yours.

I love the image at the top of the page and the Japanese concept of kintsukuroi. If you liken yourself to a piece of pottery, when broken into separate parts it seems your beauty and function are lost. However in healing yourself with gold, with love and trust in yourself and the universe, you are and will be far more beautiful and full of light for being broken. The best is yet to come my love.

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