The top Life Coaches and personal development gurus do this…


I’ve been loving that Super Soul with Oprah is now a Podcast! Listening to the best in the business share their experiences and wisdom while going about my day is one of my favourite things to do. 

Listening to Tony Robbins, Life Coach extraordinare, and Iyanla Vanzant, creator of The TV show Fix My Life and incredible speaker, they both focused on the same practice at the core of spiritual growth and living in alignment with your true purpose…connecting with your heart (your intuition, God, the universe). One of my mentors, Sonia Tully, has taught me a very similar practice that I use all the time to get guidance and I love it because it’s quick, easy and so clear. 

Tony describes choosing something in your life that you’re struggling with at a level of 7 out of 10. Closing your eyes and putting your hand on your heart and bringing to mind 3 separate experiences you are grateful for e.g. The birth of your child, achieving a goal or a special time with friends. Then once you’ve got yourself into the state (vibration) of gratitude you ask your heart what to do about the problem you are facing and listen for the guidance. 

Iyanla talks about being in the God space in prayer, feeling completely connected and at one with creation. She emphasises that your intuition is key to the choices you make and is how we receive guidance from God. Oprah says if you’re out of alignment with your higher purpose God hits you first with a pebble, then if you don’t listen the rock gets bigger and bigger until it’s a boulder. This is a metaphor for the intuitive nudges we get that we ignore, for example if you bring on a new business partner you may have some misgivings but ignore them. Then a few things start to go wrong in your business, but you soldier on. Eventually the business may fail and you go bankrupt (the boulder!). This is not a punishment from God or the universe, it’s purely because that situation or relationship, in the form it’s in, it’s untenable for you and out of alignment with your deepest desires. So eventually it has to break down completely if you don’t listen and act on the red flags. 

Sonia, my mentor, teaches a beautiful tool called ‘My heads says….and my heart says….’ Choose something your worried about or struggling with, then speak out loud ‘my head says….’ and say all the thoughts and stuff your head is saying to you e.g. I’m not sure I can do this, am I good enough? What will they say? Etc. Then take a deep breath, put your hand on your heart and tune in – then say ‘my heart says…’ and allow the words to come naturally. Can you feel the difference in energy of your head and your heart? What do they both feel like? 

I love that there is so much emphasis on how essential it is to connect to your heart and your intuition. That is the space we create from and heal in. 

Sending love ❤️ 

Image credit: upliftconnect.com 

Following your inner guidance + taking aligned action = manifesting your dreams


There have been times in my life when I was super good at being very structured and disciplined. I had my time mapped out each day and was taking heaps of action to build my business, stay healthy etc. etc. I was doing all the RIGHT things. But I wasn’t moving very quickly, or successfully, to the realisation of my dreams and goals. There have been other times when I was deeply connected to my spirit and my intuition but wasn’t taking much action at all, and again little forward motion. I have learnt that balancing being present and listening to my inner guidance, artfully combined with following that guidance by taking specific actions, is the sweet spot. In this place synchronicities flood in, what I need to reach goal after goal is magically available and the journey is fun and energising.

When I was living mostly from my intellect, or ego, I was very busy and got lots done, but the progress was slow and laboured. I had somewhere along the line of growing up, figuring out how to fit in with life and the people around me, disconnected from my intuition. Meaning that I could take as much action as I liked but the flow and ease wasn’t there. This was exhausting and I actually ended up being diagnosed with Chronic Fatigue Syndrome. The causes of autoimmune illness are never that simple, but it was certainly a contributing factor.

Being so disconnected from my intuition meant I was giving 110% but often times in the wrong directions and to the wrong people or projects. The result was I was keeping myself stuck on a kind of never-ending merry-go-round. Finally my body had had enough and shut down; so many of our intuitive messages come through the body, it never lies. My brain was focused and determined on the path I was on, but my body knew better and thankfully stepped in to call a huge time-out.

While I was tapped out of the majority of ‘life occasions’ by my illness I had time to reflect and I started to study and learn how to re-connect with myself, my spirit and my own inner guidance system. This system is the most incredible and well informed way to make our choices and live our lives. The knowing we can access from our higher selves goes way beyond what the limited intellect can figure out. This is where miracles come from, and impossibly perfect timing and magical synchronicity. Not that I am not extremely grateful to my intellect, it is excellent when put to good use in service of my true purpose. However is not great at running the show, as it is by its very nature limited to our 5 senses. The sixth sense, that we all (without exception) have access to is where the magic happens.

Now that I’ve created a good balance of tuning into my intuition and taking action that is aligned with my dreams I am guided to find the information I need, or connect with the person who can help me or go to the event that speaks directly to what I’m struggling with. For example I was invited to a business presentation a few weeks ago, initially I decided no as it was last minute, I had other plans and rearranging them would be a mission. Also I was pretty nervous about going for a number of reasons, but when I tuned in I felt it was the right move. So I reorganised my calendar and put my big girl panties on and went. While I was there I talked to one person who had 100% experienced what I’m going through right now in my personal life, and she was able to support me so I didn’t feel like a terrible, crazy person. Another friend who I haven’t seen for yonks completely validated a brand new business idea I had and shared numerous resources which have helped me immeasurably! It really did feel magical – like the universe was giving me gift after gift in the space of just a few hours. 

Combine your sixth sense, your intuition or your inner guidance system with aligned actions and you have a divine recipe for a beautifully fulfilling and successful life. I am not saying life will be all beers and skittles if you follow this recipe, life will still throw us curve balls and as humans we are messy by nature. However the tools you gain by learning to connect to your own, personal Google Maps of life and taking inspired action will support you through the wonders and the depths of this life has in store for you.

Phoenix rising from the ashes – so where the f**k is my Phoenix? 

Have you been through a life stopping, world changing experience and have been told and read that after the flames have swallowed you up you’ll rise stronger & better than ever before – but in reality you still feel shitty, are waiting for the Phoenix and it’s no where to be seen? 

I’m totally with you. This is where I am right now. After a marriage ending, swiftly followed by an autoimmune illness, life felt like it stopped and I was in pieces. So now I’m moving to the other side of getting back to life and myself and I’m waiting for the beautiful Phoenix to rise from my ashes and if anything I feel more anxious and vulnerable than I before this all happened. WTF?! 

It’s so easy to worry that I’ll never be as strong and feel as capable as I was before. Will I reach my potential? Do I have what it takes to make my dreams come true? Right now these questions feel very real and raw and terrifying. What if every time something terrible happens (as it inevitably will in life) I just get weaker? What if I’m not one of those people who comes back stronger? What if I have no Phoenix? Thinking like this makes the future feel very hard and overwhelming. 

I’m choosing to believe that it takes time. That I do have what it takes, we all do, and to build back up takes time and patience and faith. And a lot of love – from others but mainly for myself. I’m finding that doing things I love and that feel like part of my life purpose helps so much. For me that’s yoga, creativity, healthy living and spending time with soulful people. 

Maybe the Phoenix starts out as a little baby bird in the ashes, which are still hot from the fire. Maybe our job is to treat ourselves like that baby bird, keep it safe, healthy and loved while it grows getting bigger and stronger. And one day you spread your wings, feeling powerful and magical, to rise up from your ashes into the beautiful, limitless sky. 

This is my hope for you and for me. We can love our way through. We can love each other through. We got this. 

At home retreat – Step 2 – self care

I was very much a shower on the run girl – squeezing in a quick rinse to clean the essentials while my head was full of the lists of things I had to do that day. Maybe once in a couple of months I’d treat myself to a bath and even then I’d get bored and hot and jump out pretty quick.

During this time of recovery from Chronic Fatigue Syndrome combined with healing my heart I have learned to approach life at a completely different pace. I learned to slow down, and at times stop completely, because I had no other option, my body decided for me. One of the aspects that has been crucial in my healing journey, and a huge part of my ‘at home retreat’ is self care. Self care is very closely connected to self love in that it’s a the physical choices we make to take care of ourselves.

Taking the time for myself and treating myself everyday to a simple, leisurely bath has been my number 1 self care ritual during my retreat and I have continued since. It is a small way I show myself that I’m important and that I love myself, as well as it being healing in a practical way.

My self care, bath time ritual involves:

Daily…

  • Run your bath and set the scene – light a candle or two, lower the lights and I love to have a big glass of water (or drink of your choice).
  • I love to have something to do while I’m enjoying my bath e.g. watch my favourite show on the iPad, listen to a meditation audio, watch a spiritual video or listen to music.
  • I put a good amount of Epsom Salt into my bath nearly everyday – there are so many benefits to Epsom Salts such as relieving aches and pains, very detoxifying and cleansing for your energy and aura – its the best!
  • Add essential oils or flower essences – depending on whether you’re bathing to relax or to wash before starting your day you can choose essential oils to help you. I love lavender to relax and sage to cleanse, citrus oils are good for lifting energy.
  • Once comfortably in your bath I recommend using healthy, non toxic products to wash with – I use Arbonne products as they’re vegan, contain no nasties and work brilliantly. Use a specific face wash for your skin needs, I love the SeaSource Detox Body Wash for everywhere else and of course hair care. (Note if you put lots of Epsom Salt into your bath it can leave your hair a bit crispy – you can always rinse it in the shower afterwards).
  • Give yourself at least 20 mins to soak in the bath with the salts to get the full benefits while you enjoy your music or video and when its time to get out do so gently, I always take time to rest a little after a bath before rushing to get dressed or get on with the next task.

Once or twice a week…

  • Exfoliate your whole body twice a week – I use a natural exfoliating mitt and the Arbonne SeaSouce Detox Salt Scrub for my body and the FC5 Exfoliating New Cell Scrub for my face – which can double as a face mask too. Every now and then I use a more deeply cleansing or nourishing face mask.
  • Don’t forget your feet and hands! It’s easy to focus on your face and forget about the parts of your body that do the most work – feet and hands. Once a week I like to treat my feet and hands to a revitalising salt scrub all of their own – they feel so soft and lovely afterwards.

There are so many aspects of this bath ritual that are healing both spiritually and physically; giving time and energy to yourself is so important, it sets the standard for how others treat you too. Switching off from your daily tasks by enjoying a TV show or doing a relaxing meditation while in the bath creates space in your mind to find peace, creativity and is like a re-set button. The essential oils, Epsom Salts and Arbonne products are nourishing your senses and physical body with minerals, cell renewing properties and removing toxins.

Now it’s your turn – enjoy!

 

Will I ever feel that way again?

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Maybe the spark you felt in your relationship, that you are missing so much and can’t seem to find anymore, is actually you. Is your light mirrored back to you by the other person. If you’re feeling this loss give yourself time and space to come back to yourself to rediscover the connection and delight within you. Try not to worry that it’ll never return or you’ll never find it again.

The experience of loss, separation or divorce tears you in two, and more than likely into many pieces. It takes time and healing to reconnect the pieces of yourself. This disconnection within you, which is not forever unless you allow it to be, is what I feel is the ‘missing something’ we fear may never return after the loss of a loved one.

When I say it’s not lost forever unless you allow it to be; I mean there is a choice here. In order to heal deeply, learn the soul lessons and step into a bright new future you need to fully feel your feelings, be truthful and love yourself generously. All of these can be challenging and painful but are so worth it.

Honestly I’m still working on all of it. I’ve created the time and space to fully feel, I’m working with coaches and healers (including my angels and guides) to be open to the soul shifts and I’m taking steps to truly give myself the love I so desired from my husband. I fuck up often, I do great sometimes, I feel good at times and others I’m completely at a loss. And that’s ok, that’s normal, humans are messy.

I know this feeling that seems to be lost, that I long for, is the reflection of my light magnified by deep connection. It was in me and it still is – perhaps I feel I don’t have access to it at all, or maybe for very fleeting moments, but it’s not lost and will shine with even more radiance in my future and in yours.

I love the image at the top of the page and the Japanese concept of kintsukuroi. If you liken yourself to a piece of pottery, when broken into separate parts it seems your beauty and function are lost. However in healing yourself with gold, with love and trust in yourself and the universe, you are and will be far more beautiful and full of light for being broken. The best is yet to come my love.

Photo credit: theuncarvedblog.com

At home retreat – Step 1 – Food

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The first step is crucial and needs nailing before you start your retreat – easy, healthy, whole food. Most of us are busy and creating healthy, delicious meals 3 times a day for a whole week is a challenge, especially if you’re creating a new way of eating.

Solution = order a week’s worth of breakfast, lunch and dinner + snacks to be delivered to your door! I decided to use Nosh Detox as they offered a 7 day alkalise, balance and cleanse programme. The first three days were mainly smoothies and soups with a proper meal for dinner and the rest of the week was proper meals; salads, quinoa porridge, stuffed peppers and many more yummy dishes.

I was impressed that the smoothies were not too sweet, as is often the case, and the meals were very filling and tasty. All the food is diary and gluten free and you can specify your own dietary requirements – for example I loathe mushrooms so none of my food included mushrooms.

The team at Nosh needed very little notice before my deliveries started and having all the food for all meals in the fridge (delivered fresh every 2 days) meant I could free my mind and my time of any and all food related concerns and concentrate on me and what was important to achieve during this week. After a number of months suffering from chronic fatigue and healing from a marriage break down my priorities were to get my body moving and release stored up emotions – which is where the following steps came in…Step 2 coming soon!

Image courtesy of Nosh Detox

At home retreat – guide to creating your own retreat in your own home

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Last week I was feeling stuck and frustrated – you know when you’ve tried so many things to feel better and kick start yourself back to health/ease (insert your own word) and none of it has really worked. So I thought RETREAT! What better?! A break away from it all focusing on health and wellbeing and myself – how wonderful!

I did some research online and then the reality started to dawn…last minute retreats which are good quality are expensive, I have two fur babies who need to be fed and loved, I don’t really want the hassle of packing and travelling and, and, and, and…

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Who would want to leave these adorable fluffy souls for a whole week!?

Anyway I came up with a solution – an at home retreat. Over the next few days I will go through the steps I came up with to create my ‘at home retreat’ which is simple, cost effective and can be worked around your normal life.

The main steps to creating my healing, nurturing retreat involve getting healthy meals delivered (yes it is possible, it doesn’t break the bank and it’s amazing – almost like having your own private chef!), moving your body, healing treatments, self love at home treatments, TV/internet fasting and time to play, sleep, cry and whatever you need my lovely.

Extra benefits you would not get from an away retreat are spending time with my cats, Raff & Max, setting up new and healthy habits at home which can be continued and an unexpected outcome is it’s a perfect time for space clearing – home, body, life – whatever needs some throwing out to make space for shiny newness.

Step 1 coming tomorrow…