I had a huge aha moment this week that I’d love to share with you.
I am degree level qualified in beating myself up! As I’m sure many of you can relate to, I’ve developed a habit of being harsh to myself and berating myself when I feel I should be doing better. We do this as a means of self motivation and also to keep ourselves safe, as I’ve been learning in Kristen Neff’s book Self Compassion Step by Step. However usually the result is feeling bad, not good enough and guilty. If you’re a fan of Abraham Hicks and know about the Law of Attraction you’ll remember that feeling good, especially about ourselves, is such an important part of drawing to you what it is you desire. With that in mind making myself feel bad in the hopes that I do better was clearly very counter productive.
You may have heard people say ‘talk to yourself as if you’re talking to a good friend’. Which is a great idea, but for me it didn’t resonate so much. So I came up with the idea of ‘treat yourself and talk to yourself as if you are your own baby or child’. Now this creates a whole new level of love, tenderness and wanting the very best. I started trying it out; if I was feeling guilty or negative about myself I would stop and reframe the moment as if I was my child, what would I say & do to support and make her feel better?
For example if I didn’t achieve as many tasks as I had planned that day I would catch myself telling myself, “you failed today, you probably wasted time, if you can’t do these tasks how are you ever going to achieve more?”. Then I stop and reframe it as if I were my child and then say “it’s ok, you tried your best and did more than yesterday. We both know you were very tired and the down time was just as important as the tasks. Relax and start again tomorrow”. Can you feel how wildly different the energy is in those two self talk examples? One is harsh and agitating and lowers the vibration, the other is soothing and calm and uplifting.
Changing my self talk whenever I notice the harsh critic has totally changed my week and I’ve felt so much better about myself and happier with myself than I have for weeks & weeks. Once I’d had this realisation I started listening to Kristen Neff’s book and she suggests exactly the same idea of treating yourself as your own child. This synchronicity, along with many others during the week, confirmed that this practice is spot on and to keep it up.
So how does the title ‘Enjoy yourself’ relate? It’s such a common phrase we offer to people if they’re going to a party with lots of people, staying in and watching TV or going for a long walk on their own. It means enjoy YOURSELF! Not necessarily enjoy the other people, the music, the view or whatever it is you are surrounded by. The key is to enjoy YOURSELF. Take pleasure in yourself, wherever you are and whatever you do YOU are always there so the better you can feel about yourself, the kinder you can be to yourself, the more enjoyable everything else will be. And as the Law of Attraction teaches, feeling good is the key to creating your dreams.